Posts tagged 'AMOEBA ALERT'

AMOEBA ALERT!

Posted by on April 13th 2022 in A bit of a rant, Lost in translation, Name and Shame

The Amoeba Squad has been out in force over the last few days.

 

On Sunday morning I ordered some timber from Wickes, it was a Click & Collect job, and checkout was via PayPal. I don't have an account with Wickes, so I assume that my contact details were gleaned from PayPal.

Wickes started sending emails regarding the order status, that's fine, but they also started sending texts... to my mobile AND to our land-line. Thanks to the amoeba that set up their digital communication algorithm, whenever I get a mobile text the land-line chimes in and we get an auto-woman reading out the text. It/she is hilarious - my order number 680432227 was "order - number - six - hundred - and - eighty - million - four - hundred - and - thirty - two - thousand - two - hundred - and - twenty - seven". Twats.

 

Next, and somewhat predictably, it was the turn of the Aldi Click & Corrupt service. As usual there were some subs for items not in stock.

We'd ordered Easter eggs, all allegedly in stock on Saturday night when the last chance to amend the order had passed, i.e. the point at which the card payment is authorised and the order becomes "firm". But when we arrived at noon on Sunday they'd run out of all the eggs that we'd ordered and for which we'd authorised payment. The reason given was that "they'd been flying off the shelves all morning". So, we can order and authorise payment the day before, but, the day after, someone else can buy them in-store and wipe out the stock, including our items which Aldi couldn't be arsed to reserve? That stinks.

In short, NONE of the eggs that we'd ordered were in stock, so their amoeba-powered algorithm had subbed the lot, and all of the subs were unsuitable:

 

 

The middle item/sub is a belter... I ordered the box of "Specially Selected Exquisite Belgian Chocolate British Birds Eggs" specifically for my Dad, as he's interested in such things, but Aldi thought it would be a good idea to sub it with A SLAB. WTF? In what way is that OK?

Fuck 'em. I rejected the lot.

 

You'd think that would have been enough, but no, there was more to come... the Amoeba Factor was still in effect...

Amazon's Subscribe & Save thing had decided that it couldn't get us any BarleyCup...

 

 

so it offered us this bizarre substitute:

 

 

We're bemused... in which universe is a dry snack bar a suitable replacement for a hot-drink powder?

I mean, I'm partial to a stiff drink now and again, but that's a tad too rigid for me!

Happy Easter!

Duck or grouse?

Posted by on December 17th 2021 in A bit of a rant, Lost in translation, Name and Shame

Just had the advisory email for tonight's Aldi Click & Corrupt drive-by raid, and as usual there are some subs for items not in stock. Usually it's not an issue - we can live with 1x6 pints of milk instead of 2x4 pints...

But Chris, being a veggie, is up-in-arms over this:

 

 

And I have to say that I agree with her - there's a reason why people order veggie food, subbing with a meaty alternative is incredibly stupid and insensitive.

Clearly their product substitution algorithm has been coded by an amoeba.

That said, I like duck, so they'll not go to waste 🙂