Archive for the 'A bit of a rant' Category

Special Forces #1

Posted by on October 23rd 2008 in A bit of a rant, LMAO!
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Here's the scene...

The kids have been hyperactive during the day and it's been a thankless task getting them to settle down to sleep, but at 11 p.m. they relented and are now tucked up in bed. Relieved to be off-duty, you have a bit of "me time" with a cuppa and the love of a good woman before going to bed for some well-deserved sleep after the exertions of the day.

Skip forward to 2 a.m. and you're wide awake again, and so are your kids. Your peace has been shattered by untimely noises and impromtu lightshows around the village - yes, the cider-fuelled underage ne'er-do-wells are having their own bit of fun at the expense of the good citizens of the area, they're in the streets letting off fireworks... big fireworks.

How does that make you feel?

Well, here we can be sure that the authorities are doing their utmost to deal with the situation. Forget traditional policing methods such as actually having personnel on the ground to apprehend the noisy selfish b@stards. Forget the fact that we've paid taxes for the law to be upheld, the law that says that it's an offence "if you are under 18 and buy fireworks or possess them in a public place", and "if you let off fireworks between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m." Forget that it's likely that our kids will have to go to school the next morning, and if they're lucky the adults might still have jobs to go to themselves.

Forget all of that...

we have this:

Yes, we can all stay in bed, confident that the authorities are dealing with the matter by employing such kick-ass methodology. And in the morning, after clearing away the ashes from accidentally-torched garden sheds etc. and after failing to polish out any burn-marks on our cars' bodywork, we can all be thankful that the ASBO-collecting yobs aren't knocking on our front doors trying to sell us the poisoned cookies that they were intending to bake.

Why IE7 is rubbish for blogging

Posted by on October 13th 2008 in A bit of a rant
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So many folk ask me why I refuse to use IE7 as the default browser on my laptop, and why I've tried to optimise this blog for Firefox.

Well, it's been said that a picture's worth a thousand words, so here are 3000 such words for those folk; a set of three screenshots of the sidebar here as seen by three common browsers, only one of which insists on reading the page-code while wearing a blindfold.

NOW try telling me that IE7 is brilliant!

It's not. It's clearly crap. If you can't see that, there's no hope for you.

Left to right: Firefox 3.0.3, Safari 3.1.2, IE7

WTF?

Posted by on September 4th 2008 in A bit of a rant

I've been getting this warning screen when trying to access the blog. If it's annoying you too, please accept my apologies but understand that it's beyond my control, I've done nothing to provoke it.

Summer’s here

Posted by on May 7th 2008 in A bit of a rant
Despite polite and firm requests to them to stop burning items such as foam-filled furniture, plastics, food waste (including bones, which stink when burned) and other such materials, yesterday evening the neighbours lit yet another fire (without prior warning), and yet again we had a house full of revolting smoke and fumes before we could close the doors and windows. Our laundry, which was out on the line, now needs to be washed and dried again (a job that I don't relish at the best of times). It was a hot night and we could not have the windows open because of the smoke and the awful smell. It's also worth pointing out that yesterday was wheelie-bin collection day - their full bin was emptied during the day, but there was still plenty of rubbish left over to burn later on. Maybe they have just too much rubbish and need a larger bin? We have had to contend with three such fires in the last 3 weeks (all 3 have been on warm, still evenings when the smoke does not disperse) and my patience with these people is running out. There's no way that we can sit out in our garden and enjoy ourselves when this happens. If last summer was anything to go by, there will be an average of one fire per week between now and September. I regard this as completely unacceptable, and hope that the relevant authorities at the local Council can find the time to investigate this matter. I don't have a problem with anyone burning their garden rubbish, but this is different, this is domestic rubbish. I regard these fires as a statutory nuisance under the Environmental Protection Act (EPA) 1990, as there is 'smoke, fumes, or gases emitted from premises, so as to be prejudicial to health or a nuisance'. I fear for the health of my children when our house fills with acrid fumes as it did last night, and my wife's asthma has been triggered again. Evidence of the fires is there for all to see - large scorched patches in the overgrown garden, just past the abandoned white-goods, the dilapidated drainage system and the pile of broken glass. Sometimes I wish that one of the fires next door would spread to their house, but, on second thoughts, seeing as our house and theirs are semi-detached, maybe that's not such a good thing to have on the wish-list. Quite how that family of three (all adults) manage to hang on to a 3-bedroom council house when there are more needy families of 2 adults and 2 or more kids being crammed into smaller properties is well beyond my comprehension. Now I understand why the previous owners of our property bought it under the RTB scheme and then sold it to us at such a favourable price. They couldn't stand the madness either.

Ten top tips for healthy feet

Posted by on April 17th 2008 in A bit of a rant, Health, or lack thereof

The experiences of yesterday evening compel me to post this list of tips for outdoors folk who need to keep their feet in tip-top condition:

  1. DO NOT struggle all day to put up a new bathroom ceiling on your own
  2. DO NOT lose your temper with the above to the point where the red mist descends
  3. DO NOT sling your tools across the room in a fit of pique
  4. DO NOT rant around the house swearing like a demented Coprolalia sufferer
  5. DO NOT decide that the best way to manage your anger is to take it out on a "convenient soft inanimate object"
  6. DO NOT single out the blue bag for recycling waste paper as your chosen "convenient soft inanimate object"
  7. DO NOT kick seven shades of crap out of the chosen "convenient soft inanimate object"
  8. DO NOT recoil in agony when you find that somebody has filled the chosen "convenient soft inanimate object" with a huge pile of telephone directories and old BBC Good Food magazines
  9. DO NOT remove your footwear to find that what was your size 8 foot is now at least a size 10 and has changed colour from a pallid flesh tone to a combination of black, blue, purple and brown blotches
  10. DO NOT expect any sympathy from the rest of the household when it's time to walk the kids to school the next morning

😥

Sexism and the City

Posted by on March 3rd 2008 in A bit of a rant
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Recently-received from the Child Benefit people - one envelope containing: one letter telling me that the amount of child benefit we receive will be increased; and one leaflet from The Department for Children, Schools and Families.

Well, the letter itself is fine enough. OK, the rise isn't much, but we have to be thankful for whatever the Government of the day decides to allow us.

But the leaflet... Oh, no! The bees in my bonnet are swarming madly. The needle on the rantometer is right into the red and is straining against the stop-pin. The word "offended" doesn't adequately describe my feelings.

Why? Essentially, the leaflet's saying "with our help, you can afford childcare, so Mum can go back to work". Sounds fine and noble, eh? We're a 2-parent, 2-child family, nothing unusual in that. But hey, hold on just one darned minute, I'm a stop-at-home dad with what they term "parental responsibilities", my wife works full-time (and more), do we not fit into the equation?

Just look at these passages from the leaflet:

"Mum goes to the office, I go to karate..."

"Mum goes to work, I go to afterschool club..."

"My mum goes to work, I do art at pre-school..."

Not one mention of the word "Dad".

Therein lies my angst. Somewhat naively, I had assumed that sexism is an illegal discrimination, but it seems that it's alive and kicking in the corridors of power.

 
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