Here's the scene...
The kids have been hyperactive during the day and it's been a thankless task getting them to settle down to sleep, but at 11 p.m. they relented and are now tucked up in bed. Relieved to be off-duty, you have a bit of "me time" with a cuppa and the love of a good woman before going to bed for some well-deserved sleep after the exertions of the day.
Skip forward to 2 a.m. and you're wide awake again, and so are your kids. Your peace has been shattered by untimely noises and impromtu lightshows around the village - yes, the cider-fuelled underage ne'er-do-wells are having their own bit of fun at the expense of the good citizens of the area, they're in the streets letting off fireworks... big fireworks.
How does that make you feel?
Well, here we can be sure that the authorities are doing their utmost to deal with the situation. Forget traditional policing methods such as actually having personnel on the ground to apprehend the noisy selfish b@stards. Forget the fact that we've paid taxes for the law to be upheld, the law that says that it's an offence "if you are under 18 and buy fireworks or possess them in a public place", and "if you let off fireworks between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m." Forget that it's likely that our kids will have to go to school the next morning, and if they're lucky the adults might still have jobs to go to themselves.
Forget all of that...
we have this:
Yes, we can all stay in bed, confident that the authorities are dealing with the matter by employing such kick-ass methodology. And in the morning, after clearing away the ashes from accidentally-torched garden sheds etc. and after failing to polish out any burn-marks on our cars' bodywork, we can all be thankful that the ASBO-collecting yobs aren't knocking on our front doors trying to sell us the poisoned cookies that they were intending to bake.
