Recently there's been a spate of burglaries around here. Notices have been put up in shop-windows and other prominent places, advising the public to be alert and vigilant. We're out to catch the thieving bastards one way or another.
With this in mind, you can imagine how I felt about an hour ago when I was sitting in the kitchen having a well-earned cuppa and I heard somebody moving about on our back yard and trying the door-handle. I looked up and through the patterned glass I could see a shadowy figure the other side. I grabbed the nearest defensive item (a decent bit of rough-cut 2-by-2 left over from a recent DIY job) and made my way slowly and silently to the door...
The intruder was still there. By then my pulse was racing and the adrenaline was kicking in. I jumped up to the door and flung it wide open, knocking the intruder to the ground (the door opens outwards). Jumping though the doorway I shouted something profane at the prostrate figure before me, and took up a stance a sensible distance away from him while holding the 2-by-2 in a state of readiness in case he got a bit shirty.
He was a bit dazed and didn't look much of a threat so I backed off a bit and let him get to his feet. When he reached into his open shoulder-bag I tensed a little but I relaxed and was somewhat amused when he presented me with this:
(Click it)
He said he wasn't injured so I sent him packing after showing him the front door (complete with letterbox slot) and the front gateway, and after telling him to refrain from trespassing on our driveway to gain illegal access to our back garden via a gate with a "PRIVATE" sign on it.
THE SMALL(ish) PRINT... (updated 23/07/2016)
By submitting a comment to this blog you grant me permission to reproduce its content and to reproduce the submitted name/URL in attribution. I will leave your content in its intended place and in its unedited form unless one or more of the following apply:
If you ask me to modify, move or delete your content, I’ll consider making the requested change(s) so long as there’s no significant alteration of the context of the content or of any debate associated with it;
If you change your email address or URL, I’ll update these details in older comments so that I'm not displaying dead links;
If I decide to change the theme or layout of this blog, thus affecting the placement and/or visibility of comments, I’ll make whatever changes I see fit for the smooth running of this blog;
If any comment contains insulting profanity or other content which I deem to be causing or likely to cause trouble, I’ll edit or delete as I see fit for the smooth running of this blog. I’ll try to remember to display the reason(s) for whatever editing I do, so that folk aren’t left hanging wondering what happened and why. If you can at least try to "disguise" your swearing, it would be much appreciated.
Other things to consider:
Comments must contain at least 3 characters;
You can use some code in comments, feel free to give it a shot and see what works;
If adding pics, the recommended maximum dimension is 600px.;
Comments containing many links will be held for moderation;
I reserve the right to amend this policy in line with proven applicable current legislation;
Free Speech: you may well have the right to it, but you've no right to compel me to a) listen to it, or b) publish it!
Ha! I reallly did laugh out loud reading that 😀
Sandy
Next time I see him I'll tell him that you were amused, Sandy.
If there is a next time, that is. Maybe he won't deliver here from now on.
Could have been worse, you could have hit him straight in the face with your 2-by-2 when he was on the floor....
Yeah, lucky for him it was a defensive off-cut.