Author Archive.

You’re gonna need more monkeys

Posted by on January 4th 2012 in A bit of a rant
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According to Wikipedia:

"The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare."

Well, the WordPress/Jetpack helper monkeys have had another go at my Annual Report.

It's different but it's still wrong.

Here's a clickable copy of the latest version:

They'll probably blame the system, the software or the database but we all know that it's a PICNIC error.

Lies, damned lies and Jetpack statistics

Posted by on January 1st 2012 in A bit of a rant, Celebrations
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The email from WordPress contains hype such as:

"Your Annual Report from WordPress.com"... "Your 2011 in blogging"... "Our stats helper monkeys have been busy putting together a personalized report detailing how your blog did in 2011!"

I'm guessing that everybody who's using Jetpack will have received such an email.

Indeed, a quick Google shows that several folk are including details from their reports in their blogs.

Hopefully those folk will have checked the supplied facts and figures - I'd find it hard to believe that I'm the only user to discover that his report is a crock of 5h1t.

Here's a clickable edited copy of the report prepared for me:

FWIW, my editing is based on the same data that was (and still is) available to those WordPress/Jetpack monkeys.

Happy New Year!

It’s that time again

Posted by on December 21st 2011 in Celebrations

Time to wish each and every reader a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Whatever you do and wherever you go...

stay safe!

Into the Underworld

Posted by on December 17th 2011 in My reviews, Shiny new kit, Testing for review
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For many years I didn't need baselayers. Youth, hair and a suitable metabolic rate ensured my warmth in all conditions. I well remember frosty days of winter fishing with my dad, I'd sit there all day long with just a light covering of clothes while he was wrapped up like an Eskimo and still he shivered.

The years crept on and eventually I relented and invested in some synthetic blue wonder-fabric LJs and top from SubZero. Indestructible they are, and mightily effective. If middle-age hadn't made me too big for them, I'd probably still be using them. They've been passed on to the next generation and are still doing well 25 years after purchasing them.

Those blue Meraklon things were replaced by some more-modern polyester Spiderman sets made by Five Seasons. They were ultra-cheap, I figured that they'd not be much cop and wouldn't stay the course, but they still work fine. The problem with them is, well, aromatic. Two days on the hill and they reek. I needed something more walking-partner-friendly.

Reading through a few relevant websites/forums/blogs confirmed what I already knew - that Merino's where it's all at. I decided to go there, I just needed some directions.

But how much to spend? And what to get? Hood? Thumb-loops? One-piece? More research was required. Opinions would be sought. Specifications would be pored-over and pics would be scrutinised.

 

 

Joe Newton's review of the Ibex Hooded Indie was interesting. At $170 for a set it would have been a stretch.

Hendrik Morkel's review of the Woolpower long-john and crew-neck set was equally interesting. Just over £110 for a set of these (or save six quid make do without a fly).

The I/O Bio Merino Contact Pilot Suit was recommended by a friend, but he ended up with a slap around the head :mrgreen:

No, I wasn't about to splash large amounts of cash on such sartorial elegance.

Aldi saved the day. LJs £15.99 a pop. Same price for a short-sleeved top. No hood, no fly, no thumb-loops. Any colour you like so long as it's black. I bought a set for me and a set for Chris.

 

 

 

They're basic but they're good for the money. The top stays tucked in and the LJs don't migrate anklewards. The top's neck is a tad more open than I'm used to but it's bearable, I'm getting used to it. The seams are fine, there are no scratchy labels, the fabric doesn't make me itch.

But do they pass the pong test?

Well, in the interests of pseudo-science I've been power-wearing them. Since buying them on December 1st, I've worn them every day dawn-to-midnight and also ten times overnight. While hostelling and winter-walking last weekend they were worn 24/7 except for when I was in the shower. They performed perfectly on the hill, I teamed the top with my Rab VR Climb jacket and the LJs with my Quechua Bionnassay trousers and all was fine. Perspiration was handled well during exertion, warmth was retained during stops.

My hi-tech testing-equipment consisted of my two daughters' noses... yesterday the as-yet unwashed armpits of the top were duly sniffed and it was declared that said garment "smells fine, just like a warm tee-shirt".

That's good enough for me.

Now, how much longer can I keep wearing these things before they are introduced to the washing machine?

Soloing from Patterdale

Posted by on December 15th 2011 in Great Escapes, Lakes Escapes, Testing for review, YHA

After Friday's nightmare seven-hour drag up the M6 I was glad to be back on the familiar A591. The further I drove the deeper the surrounding snow was, and I was unsure as to whether the Kirkstone Pass would be navigable. In the end, after discussing the conditions with a few local folk, I decided to go for it and found that although the road-snow at the top hadn't iced over it was beginning to do so on the leeward side and that made the descent into Patterdale quite interesting.

After getting installed at Patterdale YHA the evening was spent planning routes, chatting with a Mary and Paul (a nice couple staying at the hostel) and going out into the frosty night to take some pics of the amazingly clear sky.

Saturday was cold and windy but dry with the odd bit of sunshine - perfect weather for taking in a few easy fells. I decided to nab Red Screes and Middle Dodd via Caiston Glen and the Scandale Pass. Not too far a journey, but walking into the wind and spindrift on the way up towards the Pass and then with a strong ice-laden side-wind on the pull up to Red Screes made it seem twice as far. I'll let the pics do the talking for a while...

Middle Dodd and High Hartsop Dodd from the Kirkstone Road.

 

A better view of Middle Dodd.

 

Looking back towards Hartsop.

 

Caiston Glen.

 

Little Hart Crag and High Hartsop Dodd from Broad Crag.

 

The wall above Broad Crag.

 

A wider view of Broad Crag and beyond.

 

Light over Morecambe Bay.

 

The Red Screes trig-point.

 

The Red Screes summit-cairn and shelter.

 

Looking down Smallthwaite Band towards Middle Dodd and Brotherswater.

 

 

Looking northwards from the upper cairn on Middle Dodd.

 

Red Screes from the upper cairn on Middle Dodd.

 

Westwards towards the Little Hart Crag and the Fairfield fells.

 

Eastwards - a glimpse of the Ill Bell ridge.

 

A better view from the lower cairn on Middle Dodd.

 

Steep ground on the descent.

 

As the descent got steeper, the views got better.

 

Moraines and fields.

 

A bit of blue sky above Little Hart Crag.

 

Sunlight on Angletarn Pikes.

 

The evening was spent much as before but without the photo-opportunities - rain had set in and cloud-cover was almost total. After a fine hostel meal and hours of chin-wagging with Mary and Paul I turned in for the night.

Sunday morning was different again - full of incessant driving rain and low clouds. Looking out from the hostel during breakfast I had half a mind to bail to the shops of Ambleside and Windermere, but managed to summon enough gumption for a quick slog up to Shipman Knotts. Another minor walk, but the clag, the wind and the abundant run-off made it quite an ordeal. There was still plenty of deep snow up there but sorry, there are hardly any pics from this walk - for most of the time the conditions were just too wet to risk soaking the camera. Here's what you get:

 

Plenty of water in Stile End Beck.

 

A clagged-in Shipman Knotts from near Stile End Farm.

 

In spate - the Kent in Staveley.

 

And that's about it. I negotiated the A591/M6/A5 and was home in time for tea and a long session of sorting/washing/drying the gear. Job done.

Summary:

Wainwright tops reached: Red Screes (2541 ft), Middle Dodd (2106 ft), Shipman Knotts (1926 ft). All first-ascents for me.
Number of Wainwrights still to do: 9

On Saturday I was expecting that the overnight freeze would mean that the tops would be more icy than snowy, so I carried crampons. My expectations were wrong, though, and I didn't need them. I really should have taken the snooshows and the clackysticks instead - they would have saved a lot of post-holing in the seriously-deep drifts. The axe saved me several times on the steepest bits of the descent of Middle Dodd. On Sunday I took no such metalwork, I'd have been better-off taking a diving-suit and flippers!

Regarding gear taken for test-and-review... I took one item supplied by Adam Smith representing Go Outdoors. Yes, I actually got around to properly using that Montane Lite-Speed H2O jacket that I've had for months! Conditions on Sunday's walk were so wet and windy that I decided to use it as a shell over my Rab VR Climb jacket as an extra layer of defence. It kept out most of the driven rain and the hood worked well underneath my L.A. Mountain Cap. My only gripe with it is that because there are no pockets in the Lite-Speed I had to resort to gloves, and the cuffs of the jacket aren't glove-friendly. On the plus side, it kept me warm and dry and I didn't have to walk around with pockets full of water!

I was also trying out some base-layer stuff, but more about that later.

Back from Patterdale

Posted by on December 12th 2011 in Astrostuff, Great Escapes, YHA
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The weekend stay at Patterdale was great fun. To tide you over until I've finished the report, here are a few pics from Friday night:

 

The Plough above Place Fell

 

 Jupiter over Kirkstone

 

Orion rising over Angletarn Pikes

 

Sorry about the poor quality pics. Doing hand-held long-exposures in sub-zero conditions wasn't easy....

and neither was the photography.

😯