Archive for the 'In the News' Category

Smelling pistakes

Posted by on July 14th 2011 in In the News

Anybody that knows me knows that my "Inner Stickler" isn't backwards in coming forwards. I regard good spelling, punctuation and grammar as essential elements of a well-rounded schooling and if I had my way I wouldn't let kids leave compulsory education until they'd demonstrated high standards in such matters. Obviously, concessions would have to be made where there are contributory factors such as dyslexia and other health conditions.

I was intrigued when Chris phoned me today to point me towards an interesting article on the Beeb's website.

She specifically recommends reading comment number 31. To save you the trouble of finding it, here's the gist of it:

 

Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a whirred
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in its weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

 

I had to smile.

It was that wry smile that only occurs when all hope is lost.

Did you get your bid in?

Posted by on July 7th 2011 in In the News
Tags:

"Availability: In stock"...

 

Source

Per Ardua ad Astra

Posted by on June 21st 2011 in In the News
Tags:

For some suitable background music while reading this post, feel free to turn your volume right up and set these four tracks running: 




---ooo---

 

Yet again the top brass tell it like it is and yet again they'll probably be ignored by the Government:

 

Air Chief Marshal Sir Simon Bryant has told MPs that intense air operations in Afghanistan and the Middle East are placing a “huge” demand on equipment and personnel.

In a briefing paper delivered to senior politicians and obtained by The Daily Telegraph, the RAF’s second in command said morale among airmen was “fragile” and their fighting spirit was threatened by being overworked.

Many areas of the RAF were “running hot”, he warned, while the servicemen’s sense that the nation valued their efforts was being undermined by the Coalition’s defence cuts.

The Air Force was also now finding it difficult to recruit staff, he said, with many specialities understaffed by up to a quarter.

In his conclusion, Air Chief Marshal Bryant — whose full title is Commander in Chief (Air) — warned that the ability of the RAF to deal with unforeseen emergencies would be rapidly “eroded” if the Libyan campaign went beyond September. “Two concurrent operations are placing a huge demand on equipment and personnel,” he said.

Source

 

I'm beginning to get a better handle on this matter. Presented to Parliament way back in October 2010 The Strategic Defence and Security Review (.pdf) clearly underestimated the probability that new military conflicts (other than those in Iraq and Afghanistan) would arise. It is entirely possible, of course, that there was a complete disregard for any warnings that may have been issued by the intelligence services (there are precedents). Whatever, it's hard to believe the Government's claim to be supporting the armed forces in the currently-widening theatre of ongoing intensive operations.

 

Basically, the Government's line in October was:

We've cut the budget, we think that we can cope with the current situations and with a little bit extra on top, but beyond that, we're fcuked;

and now it's

We appreciate that our servicemen and servicewomen are willing to lay down their lives for the alleged greater good. As a reward for their unselfish commitments we'll under-fund them, under-equip them, cut their pay and slash their pensions.

 

It's all going to hell in a handcart. Or at least it would if the Government hadn't nicked the wheels to patch-up another Snatch Land Rover.

 

 

Perhaps we'll have to bring these back into service:

Battle of Britain Memorial Flight (image source)

Told you so

Posted by on June 14th 2011 in In the News

First Sea Lord Admiral Sir Mark Stanhope and Admiral Sir John ‘Sandy’ Woodward clearly know what they're on about, if the Government won't listen to them there's little chance that they'll listen to anyone else:

In an unprecedented attack, Sir Mark also made it clear that the decision to axe the Harrier jump jet and Britain’s last aircraft carrier has undermined the war effort against Colonel Gaddafi. He said it would have been far cheaper and more effective militarily to fly from HMS Ark Royal, rather than launching air attacks from bases in Italy. Sir Mark said the loss of the combination that won the Falklands War has had a ‘corrosive’ effect on morale.

Embarrassingly for ministers, Admiral Stanhope believes the Navy is almost stretched to its limit even though it has only four warships involved in the Libyan conflict. These are the destroyer HMS Liverpool, the mine clearance vessel HMS Bangor, a Trafalgar class submarine and the helicopter carrier HMS Ocean off the coast. HMS Cumberland, which played a key role evacuating scores of Britons from Libya, recently returned to Britain to be decommissioned on June 23 because of cuts to the defence budget.

Writing in the Daily Mail, Admiral Sir John ‘Sandy’ Woodward says the Falklands ‘are now perilously close to being indefensible’...

"... what the politicians won’t tell you is that Mount Pleasant was, until recently, equipped with only four ageing and ineffective Tornados – the same attack aircraft that have made such heavy weather recently of providing air support in Libya. When they were needed at short notice, only three of the RAF’s 135 aircraft were ready for action. Apparently these Tornadoes have now been replaced by four Typhoons, about which there have been many rumours of too few trained pilots, inadequate spares and poor ability in aerial combat. Neither type of aircraft has any anti-ship weapons systems, which would be vital against any invasion by sea."

Source

Pretty soon, HMS Liverpool will be gone too.

I keep thinking of Private Frost's words in Aliens...

 

"What the hell are we supposed to use, man, harsh language?"

Bong!

Posted by on May 16th 2011 in In the News, Just for fun, LMAO!

Today's top news stories...

BONG!

In a freak accident at the weekend a Midlands woman managed to fall out of a cardboard-recycling bag while squashing down the contents.
It was an impressive display of gravity overcoming gymnastic ability.
Luckily, the resident professional clean-up squad was on hand to mop up the mess when the loaded tea-tray was sent flying...

The offending recycling bag. The victim declined to be interviewed for this report, but is said to be "embarrassed".

BONG!

In a totally unrelated incident, the same woman discovered too late the perils of not adding enough water to the breadmix...

The not-so-wholesome wholemeal "loaf".

BONG!

GCSE exams started today after a weekend of cramming and intensive revision.
The five-week forecast predicts a sustained period of stress and angst,
this to be followed by a period of indecision and uncertainty and then a jubilant celebration before calm is restored...

Stress/Strain (Young's Modulus)

BONG!

A middle-aged bearded man has been caught planning a wildcamping weekend in the Lake District.
When questioned by the authorities, he also admitted to being involved in planning a fishing, camping and coastal walking operation in Wales...

Archive picture.

BONG!

There have been reports of a large wild black cat terrorising the neighbourhood...

Felis sedatum.

BONG!

In a fitting tribute to the quality of Skoda cars, RAB passed his MOT again today despite "irregular" servicing and maintenance...

Archive picture.

BONG!

And finally, the international news...

Reports have started coming in from the Task Force that set out across Scotland to marvel at the spread of wind-farms...

Scotland's Renewable Energy Policy in action (artist's impression).

In all probability, further details can be found by Googling "TGO Challenge 2011".
DON'T Google "TGOC" unless you have a strong constitution!

Billy No-Mates to be fed to the Lions Rampant?

Posted by on May 8th 2011 in In the News

So...

you've shamed yourself by publicly branding as a bigot one of the people that you serve...

you've screwed up the country and the voters chucked you out on your arse...

you've tried to form a coalition so as to cling on to power but got rebuffed...

you've tried to become head of the IMF but thankfully didn't get nominated by the current government...

what's your next move?

This?

FFS, the SNP will eat him for breakfast and not bother to spit out the bones.

For Mr. Miliband it's a win-win situation - either Mr. Broon will succeed, hence vindicating the decision, or he will fail and so Labour will be shot of the buffoon for good.

What's left of my money's on Mr. Salmond.