Archive for the 'Name and Shame' Category

Amazanalysis

Posted by on December 4th 2021 in A bit of a rant, Name and Shame
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Amazon Subscribe & Save.

In theory, Amazon Subscribe & Save is a great idea - you and Amazon know in advance what's been ordered, you and Amazon agree a schedule of delivery dates (so you can plan to be available to receive deliveries), each order should arrive as one delivery (to save planets), and there are discounts (which may or may not save you some filthy lucre).

In practice, Amazon Subscribe & Save is a steaming pile of shit.

Leaving aside issues like price fluctuations (most items seem to become magically cheaper just after they've taken payment) and the fact that most orders are split into multiple deliveries, I decided to make a rough & ready chart, plotting items delivered against relative delivery days. They say that a picture's worth a thousand words... most of my thousand are expletives.

 

Number of items up the side, relative delivery days across the top. If you can't understand that, you should go back to school on Monday.

The chart above includes all ordered S&S items for 2020 and 2021. Ordered items are supposed to be delivered on 4th March, 4th June, 4th September, or 4th December.

Of a total of 68 items ordered, 5 never arrived and only 4 arrived on the agreed selected date. To put it another way, only 5.9% of items were delivered on the agreed selected date, so it's a certainty that someone here needs to be available to receive items for at least six consecutive days every three months.

It's not as if the advisory emails are any use either - yesterday morning I received six emails informing me that all outstanding items would arrive today (Saturday), but those emails were bullshit - all of the outstanding items arrived yesterday (Friday) afternoon. Go figure.

And then there's the packaging... Amazon are trying to do their bit by reusing boxes, but for [insert your preferred deity's name here]'s sake, they could at least try to tape up the sides of the reused boxes. This was today's yesterday's first delivery (three packages):

 

Yes, this is how it was left on our yard. It's a disgrace.

Like I said, it's a steaming pile of shit.

Desinged

Posted by on September 3rd 2019 in In the News, Lost in translation, Name and Shame, On the box

I see that the Beeb's proof-reader still isn't up to the job:

Can of worms

Posted by on April 3rd 2019 in Just for fun, Lost in translation, Name and Shame

Pay attention, Class! Repeat after me:

"I before E, except after C"

 

 

Yes, I know that there are many exceptions to what Edward Carney called "this supreme, and for many people solitary, spelling rule", but this isn't one of them.

Caring at its best, spelling decidedly dodgy.

Dumpsterkopf

Posted by on March 8th 2019 in A bit of a rant, Name and Shame

Sorry we missed you. Your item is...

in the garden waste bin.

Why?

Because we can't be arsed to visit any of your neighbours to leave it with them, we can't be arsed to find your "Safeplace" (the greenhouse) to leave it there, and we can't be arsed to put it back in the van to take to the collection office... all options as per proper procedure and as detailed on the card.

We also can't be arsed to fill in the "Something for you" card correctly.

What we can do, on your behalf, is break the rules regarding what HBBC say can and can't go in the garden (green waste) bin.

So how does this work when the intended recipients are away from home for a few days and someone else puts their bins out for collection? That someone else won't check what's in the bin, and won't have been "carded". The item wasn't bar-coded and so wasn't scanned before being "dumped", so its delivery wasn't recorded and there is no traceability.

This isn't the service that the customer has paid for.

Royal Mail, you need to step up to the plate rather than wander over to the bin.

And the best bit? I've been in and awake all morning, confined to barracks. I'd have heard if you'd been arsed to knock on the door.

 

 

 

Wrong on so many _eve_s

Posted by on November 15th 2018 in Lost in translation, Name and Shame

It's got that seasonal feel to it...
I feel a Christmas carol coming on...
all together now...

No "L", No "L", ...

It's a dog's dinner fit for a pack of hyenas.

Owned

Posted by on October 3rd 2018 in Lost in translation, Name and Shame
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Ever wondered how all those grocers acquired their apostrophes?

I have a theory that they were donated by Arla's milk-owning farmers...

That said, the more I think about how to punctuate the label's statement, the less convinced I am about the milk's provenance.

Do I really want to consume the farmer's (or farmers') own milk?

I'd much prefer it to have been derived from a cow.