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It helps if you have the right connections.
Author Archive.
Dealt a Yarborough
Only a week to go until the big day.
When it comes to General Elections I've never had any problems choosing which candidate got my vote... until this one.
We have only four parties vying for the top spot here:
and I have misgivings about all of them.
LibDems: They've had my vote before, and their candidate stands the best chance of ousting our current absentee-landlord, but after Clegg broke his tuition fees pledge while polishing Cameron's buttocks I don't think that I can bring myself to trust the LibDems again.
Labour: Well, when your head honcho has played poker with his cards face-up by ruling out ever using Britain’s nuclear deterrent (thus making it no deterrent whatsoever) and whose credibility on defence is in tatters, who's going to keep the flag flying if Johnny Foreigner decides to take a pop at us? Moreover, there's NATO's Article 5 which say something like "an armed attack against one NATO member shall be considered an attack against them all". In that circumstance what's the top man going to deploy? Sharp sticks? Harsh words? Economic-migrant car-washers armed with wet sponges?
Conservatives: As a party they seem to have it in the bag already, but there's no way that our current candidate will get my vote even if his gaffer was [insert your preferred benevolent deity here]. My views on our current candidate's 30 years as Our Man In Havana At The Conning Towers are well-documented on this blog and don't need repeating here.
So that leaves the Greens. The party that favours ungreen* wind-farms here, there and everywhere. No thanks.
I think it may well be a case of "None of the above".
But I'll still go to the Polling Station even if it's only to bait the tellers.
* Probably not a real word but it seems to fit.
Square deal
So, let's suppose that I go to the tills at B&Q with 3 square metres of these slabs on my trolley. Do you think they'll have grounds for refusal if I tender One Pound Sterling and expect some change?
According to their pricing and my basic maths, I should get 4p change from a quid.
Stealth Moths
These things always remind me of B-2 bombers:
Opinions differ - I'm told that it's either a Poplar Hawk Moth Laothoe populi or an Eyed Hawk Moth Smerinthus ocellatus.
What say you? You can click 'em for a closer look - it's safe, they're not armed.
Subtle hint
Above: My feedback on the Royal Mail Door-to-Door Opt-Out Scheme. Soon afterwards, it was fed back into the local post-box.
Maybe I should have written it in all known languages, as it's clear that they can't read (or can't be arsed to read) the English version of the form which I've printed, completed, laminated and stuck to the front door directly above the letterbox, the flap of which also bears a "No Junk Mail" sign:
I suppose they've "lost" all of the properly-completed forms which I've sent to Freepost ROYAL MAIL CUSTOMER SERVICES this year.
