I just love forms...
especially when they're worded so well...
Now, let me think... would I ever do any of those things for 24 hours? Probably not, but the 24-hour drinking thing sounds interesting. Driving for 24 hours would be a waste of time and fuel seeing as I have no current plans to go anywhere far away. Carrying children as a defence against dizziness does seem to be an extreme therapy so I'm glad that I mustn't do that for a day and a night. Moreover, in the event of impaired judgement it's probable that I wouldn't lend any credence to any of these warnings anyway.
Oh, and the notion that a kettle is a machine is a tad daft, IMO.
Perhaps I'm reading these forms too literally.
THE SMALL(ish) PRINT... (updated 23/07/2016)
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Free Speech: you may well have the right to it, but you've no right to compel me to a) listen to it, or b) publish it!
Stef, didn’t you know that English is a minority language in parts of the NHS these days?
But seriously, I hope you visit to the NHS is successful.
I am getting blasé with hospital forms as I am convinced nobody reads them anyway. ON my last three trips in for a stay I have written: N/A against virtually every question and at the top of the form, in HUGE capital letters: "READ MY DOCTOR'S NOTES. IN THE MORNING: COFFEE, BLACK, 1 SUGAR, NOT BEFORE 9:00am. THANK YOU."
Not a single person has ever questioned anything I have ever written on their useless forms.
I must also admit to the general amusement I get out of of badly written documentation. It does get worrying though when its from such an important institution!
I hope the visit is for nothing serious.
There's a bit of me thinks that if you're reading it really really literally, then the heading for the "four don't do's list" results in a double negative, making the activities on the list compulsory.
Pedantry aside, I hope you haven't resisted the temptation to put in a right good answer to "How do you wish to be addressed?" 😀
I've decided that "NHS" stands for "No Hymn Sheets"...
I went in for the preassessment this afternoon. The first session involved a nurse doing measuring, weighing, MRSA-swabbing and discussion of the items on the form. The second session involved some ECG-testing, details of the impending op and another discussion of the items on the form.
Interestingly, each of the nurses had a different take on some matters. For instance, the form says that I'm not to smoke for 48 hours before the op. The first nurse's opinion was that I can't use nicotine patches/gels to get by, but that the whole smoking-cessation thing is bull5h1t anyway. The second nurse's opinion was that it's only the three or four hours prior to the op that have to be smoke-free, and that patches/gels during that period will be fine.
So now I have three differing sets of advice. Does that mean that I can choose between them?
The good news is that I have surprisingly-good results from the tests... BMI = 25, Sats = 99%, B.P. = 122/83 and Pulse = 72.
The big day is January 25th, so the bad news is that there'll be no more fell-walking for me until February at the earliest.
The preferred answer to that one was "Politely".
"Do you read English" on a form written in English - and halfway down - priceless