And the award for "Tw@t of the Day" goes to the driver of Blue Nissan Micra S32HOJ:
For the avoidance of doubt, here's a full-res crop:
Author Archive.
Ooda Thunkit
How many years have we been made to fund successive governments' barmy policies to address climate change?
Looks like Aldi have an economical Climate Control solution:
🙄
eBay Feedback (not SFW)
Go on, click here, it's about time you had a good laugh!
😀
Cyberdyne Systems Series R20 Model 101
This year's Fathers' Day saw the welcome addition of the "Terminator" box-set to the DVD/BluRay collection.
You know the story-lines... Terminators sent back in time, their missions being to kill off the Resistance-to-be at various points within the plot's history, trying to ensure that both Judgment Day and the Rise of the Machines come to pass.
I used to see parallels between the Machines and wind-turbines, between Skynet and RES, between John Connor and Alan Sloman, but the men in white coats put me in a padded room and tried to cure me of my delusions and of my overwhelming desire to insert another "e" into "Judgment".
Today's news, therefore, is a tad spooky:
Men in Black
The cat growled and raised her hackles at the silhouettes visible through the patterned glass of the front door. Two black-suited men stood there. They hadn't knocked or used the doorbell. It was all a tad sinister but I could see that one had a clip-board and the other a very brief briefcase, these lending a hint of officialdom to the scene. Maybe they were from HMRC, maybe they were from the local police who still maintain that they're going to contact me about a string of offences that I reported to them nearly two months ago. Either way, I decided to entertain them.
Without introduction, an ID card flash or even a cheery "good morning", the larger of the two explained their presence...
"We're here to ask if there really is a God that cares for us".
Damn. No HMRC tax refund, no CSI team to sort out the local miscreants. Still, I was in the mood for another Q&A session seeing as we'd won a charity pub-quiz last night.
"Us? Do you mean just you two, or all three of us?"
"Well, everybody."
"Ah, I see. So why are you asking me?"
"Because you might have The Answer." (His emphasis)
"Seriously? You think that a middle-aged balding bloke from the English Midlands would have The Answer to one of The Fundamental Questions that has been troubling Believers for millennia?"
"Errr..."
"It's unlikely, isn't it?"
"I suppose so."
"Anyway, don't you already know The Answer?"
"Well, we believe that God cares for all of us."
"Well there you go, you've answered your own question! Your work here is done, you can have the rest of the day off."
"But... but... do YOU believe that God cares for all of us?"
"That's not what you asked me at the start when you thought me to be The Messiah."
"Errr..."
"OK, lets' try something else. Do YOU believe that God sees and hears everything?"
"Yes. We believe that God is omnipresent."
"So, God must know when HMRC and the Police are going to arrive."
"Errr... you've called the Police?"
"Well, yes, but..."
"We'll be off now. Thanks for your time."
"Hang on, I still want to see your ID cards."
"We don't have ID cards, we're not selling anything."
"Do you really believe that?"
There was no answer. They'd gone.
Could have been worded better
On-the-spot fines for middle-lane hoggers?
Won't that be inherently dangerous in the middle of a busy carriageway?
Far better to pull the feckers onto the hard-shoulder and then apply the fine.
😉
Mind you, there is a more suitable sanction:
