The first time we met we were stuck in traffic on the Aylestone Road. The pedestrilist*, unable to overtake or undertake the pulled-over bus obstructing the cycle-lane, and unable to nip onto the pavement due to there being safety-railings, was leaning on my car's roof-rail, apparently incapable of unclipping his Tour de Leicester cycling clogs from his pedals in order to use his own feet to keep himself upright. I wound down the window and asked him to desist but he didn't. Luckily, the traffic started to move on so there was no further set-to.
About a mile or so further on the traffic had stopped again. I looked in the door-mirror and again there was a Lycra-clad someone leaning on, or about to lean on, my roof-rail. I was fairly sure that it was the same miscreant.
The car in front of mine had pulled forward a bit and had left a car's-length of space in front of mine, so I duly moved into the gap. Sir Isaac Newton and stupidity did the rest. In the rear-view mirror I saw a perfect arc of toppling torso, through the open windows I heard a crumpling noise.
From the sounds being emitted from the patch of sun-kissed tarmac behind my car, I surmised the following:
- Lycra doesn't protect the wearer from impact;
- Clip-ins don't clip-out very quickly;
- My I.Q. and parentage are now questionable.
YouTube has a similar version:
*Pedestrilist: A cyclist who believes that it's OK to chop and change between using the road or the pavement according to whatever obstructions are encountered, such as prams, red lights and buses. No prior indication, life-saver look behind or consideration for others is required in order to execute such random, unpredictable and dangerous manoeuvres.
I should point out now that I have great respect for law-abiding cyclists. I just don't like selfish twats.
