A caravan in Norfolk – pics

Posted by @ 10:36 pm on Saturday 17th September, 2011.

Further to my previous post on the matter, here are a few pics and notes to let you know what you get when pay a princely sum to stay in a seven-berth caravan:


Four dinner-plates, six side-plates, six bowls, six cups and one mug


Six dessert-spoons, two soup-spoons, two tea-spoons, five forks, one baby-fork and four knives. We had to clean everything before we used it.


One gas-oven (with a shelf that wouldn't lie flat because it didn't fit because it was from a different oven) which only worked on Gas Mark 3 regardless of the dial setting. Our S&K pies were supposed to be cooked after 40 minutes but after one hour and fifty minutes we gave up waiting for the pastry to brown and ate the pies on the "rare" side. Of course, the paucity of heat in the oven may explain the fact that an oven-glove wasn't provided.


One metal waste paper bin with damaged and hence sharp edges that kept assaulting legs and legwear


One knackered catch on the rear door, totally useless for keeping the door open


Just for good measure, one even-more-knackered catch adorned the front door


The smoke alarm in all its useless glory

Add to that lot the following:

Only four bed-pillows (remember, it was a seven-berth caravan)...

One double-bed, two single beds and two "sleep-on-the-seats" places in the living area, total = six. Did I mention that it was a seven-berth caravan?

An array of saucepans and an array of lids but only one of the lids actually fitted a saucepan...

Casserole dishes without lids (but they would have been redundant anyway seeing as the oven was so shite)...

One fridge with an ice-box inside. The door-seals were knackered so the inside never got cold despite the ice-box being glaciated. Fresh milk lasted 24 hours max in there.

A Bissell-type carpet-sweeper that hadn't been emptied ever, by the looks of it...

A television with only three working channels...

No washing-up utensils, cloths, sponges or scourers...

and not one sheet of bog-roll. How fecking tight is that???

I take it that it's obvious that we won't be staying there ever again.

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14 Responses to “A caravan in Norfolk – pics”

  1. Geoff says:


    I can tell you're not used to this type of holiday, and you obviously don't come from Essex! 🙄

    Arrive home at 1.30am with a skin full of booze.

    Pass out on the floor, wake up at midday.

    Down the burger bar for lunch.

    Snooze on the beach.

    Home to change for the evening trip to the pub.

    Repeat fourteen times.

    Who needs Beds, fridges, and smoke alarms? 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. Sheila says:

    That's really bad customer service I'll be interested to hear if you get any reply to a letter of complaint.

    We once stayed in a static caravan for a holiday in Blackpool when our sons were big theme park fans and thankfully I don't remember it being that bad. I think it was short of some items of crockery and cutlery, but it had the correct number of beds.

    It's bad that they can get away with such shoddy service. A neighbour of mine who lets out the former croft house for holiday lets, tells me that for her registration with Visit Scotland she has to ensure not only the full complement of crockery and cutlery, but they all have to be a matching set.

  3. alan.sloman says:

    Ah, the Great British Getaway.

    Will they be getting away with it, Stef?

  4. Mike Bell says:

    Makes my caravan look like a palace. A very small palace mind you.

  5. Alen McF says:

    I had a theory which I have just this moment disproved. I was going to say that the word “staycation” was probably invented by a tourist board PR person to persuade holidaymakers to stay in this country to fleece them. But I’ve just checked Wikipedia and it was coined by a Canadian comedian called Brent Butt. At least the plates matched, BG.

  6. ChrisP says:

    Never mind Stef, at least I enjoyed your company and we did get out every day. Good selection of our Holiday Pics!

  7. ChrisP says:

    Oh I forgot. BTW the baby fork was mine. Brought it along to eat my pasta salad on the journey there. Shame you didn't recognise it, we've only had it in the kitchen drawer at home for the last 15 years! 🙂 Who says men are unobservant?

  8. BG! says:

    @Geoff - LOL! Perhaps we should have holidayed in Essex on the basis that the locals would have been afflicting folk elsewhere 😉

    @Sheila - Just for once I'm not bothering with a letter of complaint, I can do without the hassle of prolonging my memories of the place.

    @Scott - Can't remember, was too busy counting crockery.

    @alan.sloman - I suppose so. I've far more important things to gripe about!

    @Mike Bell - Size isn't everything, Mike. Good things come in little packages :mrgreen:

    @Alen McF - Next year we're going to Romania remain 'ere" 🙄

    @ChrisP - So it was yours, eh? I suspected so, but wasn't willing to drive all the way back home just to check in our drawer. Of course, your confession that you were guilty of fork-trafficking just makes the cutlery-stats even worse!

  9. BG! says:

    Originally Posted By ChrisP
    Who says men are unobservant?

    Well, according to my observations, it's mainly YOU!

    Oh, and the very fact that I've made such observations means that your rhetorical question is pure nonsense.

    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

  10. ChrisP says:

    Don't worry Alan, I'm on a training course in London at the moment. I'm going home tonight. I'll just get my own back by re-arranging all of the serving spoons, ladles etc. on the rack in our kitchen when I get home and that will be the end of it - that ALWAYS annoys him! 😉

  11. BG! says:

    Originally Posted By ChrisP
    I'll just get my own back by re-arranging all of the serving spoons, ladles etc. on the rack in our kitchen...

    Steady on!!! That's grounds for divorce on the basis of mental cruelty 😯

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