Caught red-handed

Posted by @ 3:15 pm on Thursday 23rd June, 2011.

Recently there's been a spate of burglaries around here. Notices have been put up in shop-windows and other prominent places, advising the public to be alert and vigilant. We're out to catch the thieving bastards one way or another.

With this in mind, you can imagine how I felt about an hour ago when I was sitting in the kitchen having a well-earned cuppa and I heard somebody moving about on our back yard and trying the door-handle. I looked up and through the patterned glass I could see a shadowy figure the other side. I grabbed the nearest defensive item (a decent bit of rough-cut 2-by-2 left over from a recent DIY job) and made my way slowly and silently to the door...

The intruder was still there. By then my pulse was racing and the adrenaline was kicking in.  I jumped up to the door and flung it wide open, knocking the intruder to the ground (the door opens outwards). Jumping though the doorway I shouted something profane at the prostrate figure before me, and took up a stance a sensible distance away from him while holding the 2-by-2 in a state of readiness in case he got a bit shirty.

He was a bit dazed and didn't look much of a threat so I backed off a bit and let him get to his feet. When he reached into his open shoulder-bag I tensed a little but I relaxed and was somewhat amused when he presented me with this:


(Click it)

He said he wasn't injured so I sent him packing after showing him the front door (complete with letterbox slot) and the front gateway, and after telling him to refrain from trespassing on our driveway to gain illegal access to our back garden via a gate with a "PRIVATE" sign on it.

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4 Responses to “Caught red-handed”

  1. Ha! I reallly did laugh out loud reading that 😀
    Sandy

  2. BG! says:

    Next time I see him I'll tell him that you were amused, Sandy.

    If there is a next time, that is. Maybe he won't deliver here from now on.

  3. Could have been worse, you could have hit him straight in the face with your 2-by-2 when he was on the floor....

  4. BG! says:

    Originally Posted By David Knockton
    Could have been worse, you could have hit him straight in the face with your 2-by-2 when he was on the floor....

    Yeah, lucky for him it was a defensive off-cut.

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