Archive for the 'In the News' Category

Feed me!

Posted by on March 14th 2013 in In the News

Hmm... Google is to retire Reader and a handful of other useful services.

That'll fcuk-up a few bloggers and smartphone users, I'll warrant.

French letters

Posted by on January 31st 2013 in In the News, LMAO!, Video (YouTube, Vimeo etc.)

Recipe for Disaster



  • 3 x Science
  • 2 or 3 x Maths
  • 2 x English
  • 2 x Humanities
  • 1 x language
  • 1 x sprinkling of Computing



  • Take one meddling politician who won't listen to reason
  • Give that politician the authority to tinker and meddle with the ingredients
  • Ensure that the politician gets everything really mixed up
  • Half-bake the mix until it all goes tits-up
  • Give the creation a fancy French name that many kids won't be able to spell anyway
  • Feed it to many thousands of schoolkids
  • Wash your hands of all responsibility
  • Reassign the politician at the next Cabinet reshuffle
  • Let the next Government clear up the mess


Well done, you've just concocted the EBC, an inbred version of the EBacc.

It doesn't look very good, does it? I imagine it'll taste bitter with a hint of merde.


Where's the landlord when you need him? He wouldn't stand for all that foreign-sounding rubbish.

If he ever stood for election to Parliament, he'd get my vote  🙂 


Gone from The Castle Gate

Posted by on December 10th 2012 in In the News

Yesterday's passing of Sir Patrick Alfred Caldwell-Moore, CBE, FRS, FRAS, is sad news to countless folk who are expressing the loss better than I ever could. I'm not good at that sort of thing so I'll leave it to them.

In many he inspired a love of astronomy but in me he also kindled a love of classical music:



Last night the sky was calm and clear, as close to perfect as it gets here, so it seemed fitting that I should get outside and have a look at The Moon and some objects from the Moore Winter Marathon and from his Caldwell Catalogue.

I'll post some pics later if they pass muster.

So, did you vote?

Posted by on November 16th 2012 in A bit of a rant, In the News

Yeah, I'm on about yesterday's PCC elections.

I'm not usually apathetic about using my democratic rights, but none of the candidates here seemed to want to put any effort into garnering any support. We've had no canvassers, no leaflets, no posters in the streets.

Democracy in action?

More like Democracy inaction.

Would I want our local Constabulary to be run by somebody who couldn't even be arsed to tell us his/her name, let alone what he/she stands for?


I didn't vote because I couldn't make an informed decision.

And now they're wondering why the turnout was so poor.

It doesn't take a lot of brain-power to work it out.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls

Posted by on September 25th 2012 in In the News

But seriously, would you have let The Man with the Merde-Ass Touch anywhere near anybody else's money ever again?



I'm off out to the betting-shop - I reckon I can get good odds on the markets crashing before trading closes.

Sending the wrong message

Posted by on September 21st 2012 in In the News

Highway Code Rule 145:

"You MUST NOT drive on or over a pavement, footpath or bridleway except to gain lawful access to property, or in the case of an emergency."


This basic simple rule is based on the Law as set out in the Highway Act 1853 Section LXXII (Penalty on Persons committing Nuisances by riding on Footpaths, &c.):

"And be it further enacted, That if any Person shall wilfully ride upon any Footpath or Causeway by the Side of any Road made or set apart for the Use or Accommodation of Foot Passengers ; or shall wilfully lead or drive any Horse, Ass, Sheep, Mule, Swine, or Cattle, or Carriage of any Description, or any Truck or Sledge upon any such Footpath or Causeway ; or shall tether any Horse, Ass, Mule, Swine, or Cattle on any Highway, so as to suffer or permit the tethered Animal to be thereon ; or shall cause any Injury or Damage to be done to the said Highway, or the Hedges, Posts, Rails, Walls, or Fences thereof , or shall wilfully obstruct the Passage of any Footway; or wilfully destroy or injure the Surface of any Highway; or shall wilfully or wantonly pull up, cut down, remove, or damage the Posts, Blocks, or Stones fixed by the said Surveyor as herein directed; or dig or cut down the Banks which are the Securities and Defence of the said Highways ; or break, damage, or throw down the Stones, Bricks, or Wood fixed upon the Parapets or Battlements of Bridges, or otherwise injure or deface the same ; or pull down, destroy, obliterate, or deface any Milestone or Post, Graduated or Direction Post or Stone, erected upon any Highway; or shall play at Football or any other Game on any Part of the said Highways, to the Annoyance of any Passenger or Passengers ; or if any Hawker, Higgler, Gipsy, or other Person travelling shall pitch any Tent, Booth, Stall, or Stand, or encamp, upon any Part of any Highway; or if any Person shall make or assist in making any Fire, or shall wantonly fire off any Gun or Pistol, or shall set fire to or wantonly let off or throw any Squib, Rocket, Serpent, or other Firework whatsoever, within Fifty Feet of the Centre of such Carriageway or Cartway; or bait, or run for the Purpose of baiting, any Bull upon or near any Highway ; or shall lay any Timber, Stone, Hay, Straw, Dung, Manure, Lime, Soil, Ashes, Rubbish, or other Matter or Thing whatsoever upon such Highway, to the Injury of such Highway, or to the Injury, Interruption, or personal Danger of any Person travelling thereon ; or shall suffer any Filth, Dirt, Lime, or other offensive Matter or Thing whatsoever to run or flow into or upon any Highway from any House, Building, Erection, Lands, or Premises adjacent thereto; or shall in any Way wilfully obstruct the free Passage of any such Highway; every Person so offending in any of the Cases aforesaid shall for each and every such Offence forfeit and pay any Sum not exceeding Forty Shillings, over and above the Damages occasioned thereby."


It's not a difficult concept (cycle on the road or on a designated cycle-way) and the aim of the law is simple (to preserve the safety of pedestrians).

So why would the Boys in Blue prevent Government Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell from legally using a road, and instruct him to use a path that passes through a pedestrian gate?

I reckon that the Police were just too lazy to open the main gates for him.

Let's not forget that we're supposed to be a nation inspired by recent Olympic performances, and our Velodrome Heroes have urged more folk to get out on their bikes.

In this case, the Police deserve to be called morons.

Three black flies in my Chardonnay…

Posted by on September 11th 2012 in A bit of a rant, In the News

No. 1

Regarding online services, I spent years (and a small fortune) during the previous century on BT dial-up before switching to phone, email and broadband internet via Diamond Cable during their first month of service in our area. In time they were consumed by NTL who upped the ante by providing us with their digital telly service. In due course NTL were taken over by Virgin Media, they substituted a succession of their own digiboxes culminating in the temperamental VBox.

Tempted by their latest ads for their TiVo service, I phoned Virgin a few days ago in order to change my service to their "Essential Collection" - a 500 gig HD TiVo Box with more channels than you could shake a stick at, a wireless Super Hub, up to 30 meg fibre-optic broadband and a landline with weekend perks. Of course, this new bundle includes their email service. It took ages for them to agree to the correct price as advertised on their own webpage, mainly because I'd be getting more for less. Eventually they relented (after I mentioned the ASA) and a deal was struck.

Before hanging up the phone I asked them to send me an email detailing our agreement and the change of terms of our contract. Yeah, you've guessed it, they wouldn't send me one. Allegedly, they don't have the capability to email me from the sales department.

No. 2

Ella and her mates were mucking about with their mobiles, playing "guess the access code" with each other's handsets. As you'd expect, after her friend had tried too many incorrect codes Ella's phone kicked into lockout-mode and is now bricked. Well, technically that's not true... it's my phone as I'm the mug with his name on the contract, but the phone is still fcuked.

After wasting much time talking to the bewildered support folk at T-Mobile we resorted to the internet to see if we could find a working hard-reset procedure but it was all to no avail. Yesterday I took the handset to the nearest T-Mobile shop and explained all, they said it would need sending back to base for a repair and that it would take up to 28 days. I proffered my own mobile details so that they could inform me as to when the thing was ready to be collected but they declined, saying that they would let me know the outcome by text... to the affected handset.

No. 3

In a bizarre turn of events, a local careers service has closed with staff facing an uncertain future.


Don't talk to me about irony.


Firing blanks

Posted by on August 15th 2012 in In the News, LMAO!

Some folk take things far too seriously.

Tall stories

Posted by on June 27th 2012 in In the News, Pics

There was an interesting story in The Telegraph yesterday - the fur's flying over accusations of folk Photoshopping their pics with the intent of "proving" that they topped-out on Everest.

I never felt the need to cheat in such a manner. After stopping for a beer some way short of the top I dozed off, and when I awoke I found that the support team had gone home so I never quite reached the summit.

Don't believe me? Here's a photo to prove it:


Background image: Mount Everest from Kalapatthar. Photo: Pavel Novak. Source: Wikipedia. Pasted image: Jamie Bassnett.

 Not to scale.


No such thing as bad publicity

Posted by on June 15th 2012 in Congratulations!, Fundraising Folk, In the News

Today's bizarre events regarding the NeverSeconds blog have resulted in an incredible increase in donations at Veg's chosen charity:




This girl deserves a medal!

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