Archive for the 'LMAO!' Category

Currying favour

Posted by on November 18th 2016 in LMAO!

 And the award for "Dumbest, Most Hilarious and Most Unhelpful Answer of the Year" goes to...

one of the food-serving staff in the LEat Restaurant at Leicester Royal Infirmary.

Yesterday, while I was waiting for my lamb curry with rice to become sufficiently warm to pass the thermo-probe test, the next customer at the counter asked the server if the chicken dish was Halal.

With only a split-second of hesitation and with utter conviction the server responded with just one word:


I looked at the other customer. She looked at me. We both had that "WTF?" look on our faces.

For a while words failed us, we couldn't speak for laughing.

Happiness comes from the most unlikely places.

While we’re on the subject of cycling…

Posted by on September 5th 2016 in LMAO!


Available from all good bollock retailers.

Cycling Night Riding Bicycle Light Creative Bike Light Bicycle Cycling MTB Bike Lamp Heart Design.

May contain nuts.

Who needs Lycra and clip-ins?

Posted by on August 17th 2016 in LMAO!

This Tour de Leicester thing is clearly a demanding set of events, something like an Omnium for Eejuts.

This time we were on the Soar Valley Way.

Here's the breakaway leader in the Dangerously-Overloaded Sprint:


Well, you can stick that up your Anusol

Posted by on April 7th 2016 in Illness and injury, LMAO!

My latest acquisition.

Mine because the hospital wouldn't give me the ever-reliable Xyloproct but did give me the utterly-useless Anusol.

I'm still trying to work out how to comply with the instructions:

My nads are already dangling in the broccoli, I don't think I can back in any further.

Perhaps I'm not bending over far enough?

Price Fail

Posted by on March 20th 2013 in Astrostuff, LMAO!

I have an Inner Stickler. Poor spelling, punctuation and grammar really irk me.

Many folk tell me to lighten up, saying that accurate spelling is no longer important and that it's the meaning of the words that really matters...


eBay item number 181102927230


I rest my case.

French letters

Posted by on January 31st 2013 in In the News, LMAO!, Video (YouTube, Vimeo etc.)

Recipe for Disaster



  • 3 x Science
  • 2 or 3 x Maths
  • 2 x English
  • 2 x Humanities
  • 1 x language
  • 1 x sprinkling of Computing



  • Take one meddling politician who won't listen to reason
  • Give that politician the authority to tinker and meddle with the ingredients
  • Ensure that the politician gets everything really mixed up
  • Half-bake the mix until it all goes tits-up
  • Give the creation a fancy French name that many kids won't be able to spell anyway
  • Feed it to many thousands of schoolkids
  • Wash your hands of all responsibility
  • Reassign the politician at the next Cabinet reshuffle
  • Let the next Government clear up the mess


Well done, you've just concocted the EBC, an inbred version of the EBacc.

It doesn't look very good, does it? I imagine it'll taste bitter with a hint of merde.


Where's the landlord when you need him? He wouldn't stand for all that foreign-sounding rubbish.

If he ever stood for election to Parliament, he'd get my vote  🙂 


Sticker’s for door’s

Posted by on January 15th 2013 in LMAO!



What does “incompetent” mean? What does “baffled” mean?

Posted by on September 6th 2012 in LMAO!

Yeah, sorry about the post-title. No doubt you all know where it's from.

Anyway, it's clear that at least one Tesco employee is both incompetent and baffled when it comes to using our official language:


Maybe a little education would help?


They may have been playing it fast and loose in the changing-rooms but they were hedging their bets in the Seasonal Goods aisle. Who can blame them for catering for a little latitude in the long-range weather forecast for the run-up to Christmas? 


Up the aisle


For good days


 For bad days


For Christmas Days


We didn't find the Easter eggs but I'm sure they must be hidden away somewhere at the back.

Firing blanks

Posted by on August 15th 2012 in In the News, LMAO!

Some folk take things far too seriously.

Home and Away

Posted by on April 16th 2012 in LMAO!

Had a few days pottering around Eskdale.

It'll take me a while to sort the pics and the report.

In the meantime, I'll leave you to ponder the logic of this:


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