Archive for the 'LMAO!' Category

lalala

Posted by on January 18th 2017 in LMAO!

 

Allegedly it should also say "I won't be listening but I'll pretend to write it down anyway", but they couldn't fit all that text in the available space.

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

Posted by on January 12th 2017 in A bit of a rant, Illness and injury, LMAO!

So, with venesections every third Thursday and out-patient consultations every fourth Thursday, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that every 12 weeks the two sessions will fall on the same day. Today was such a day.

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A month ago some bright spark at LRI decided that on such days it would be best to perform just the one set of blood tests, at LGH, on samples taken just before the venesection. Said tests were to cover everything needed for the venesection session at LGH and everything needed for the out-patient consultation at LRI about three hours later. LRI gave me an appropriately-completed bloods specimen form with attached samples bag to give to LGH on the day. It was, allegedly, a fool-proof idea...

I turned up at LGH early this afternoon, they took the blood sample and I handed them the form/bag from LRI. They said that they didn't need the form/bag as they would use their own, so they took away the LRI form/bag for disposal. They also said that they were now using a super-duper digital system on PDAs which would make data collection, storage and transfer much better. I was insistent that the tests would have to cover the requirements of both appointments and that the results would have to be available at LRI by 16:15. They were equally insistent that it would all work flawlessly. I was then bled and given saline as per usual. All good so far.

Of course, in accordance with my expectations and contrary to theirs, it didn't work at all. Nearly four hours later over at LRI the consultant couldn't find the test results in the database, so the consultation was a complete waste of time.

 

 

My Friday is now trashed. I have to wait in for a phone call - someone from LRI will be calling the land-line (but not the mobile) IF the results can be found. Oddly, even though they are going all hi-tech with PDAs and the like, and the results (and my records) should be on a database, they are not allowed to send me the results via text or email. For reasons of security the information has to be given verbally. How quaint!

But hey, they DO like to send me appointment-reminders via text - one seven days before each appointment, and another five days later - telling me that every missed appointment costs the NHS an average of £126.

We sure as Hell won't be doing it their way again. To quote Tolkien's Pippin: "Short cuts make long delays."

Maybe I should be charging "an average of £126" for this afternoon's fiasco?

Welcome to 2017.

Beligan

Posted by on December 19th 2016 in LMAO!, Lost in translation
Tags: ,

Nice chocs, rubbish ad:

 

Standards

Posted by on December 14th 2016 in LMAO!, Lost in translation
Tags: ,

Sometimes I despair:

 

All who tell people that good SPAG isn't important should hang their heads in shame...

before being crucified, shot, buried, dug up and then shot again just to be sure.

And no, I'm not BillC45, innit.

Four notes for a twig?

Posted by on December 4th 2016 in LMAO!

Seriously?

Four quid?

For a stick?

There's nothing posh about it, there's no special treatment, it's not expensive Amazonian hardwood or a cutting from one of the Two Trees of Valinor.

It's just a stick with a bit of steel studding stuck in the end, two washers and a wing-nut.

 

Buyers of these probably know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Currying favour

Posted by on November 18th 2016 in LMAO!
Tags:

 And the award for "Dumbest, Most Hilarious and Most Unhelpful Answer of the Year" goes to...

one of the food-serving staff in the LEat Restaurant at Leicester Royal Infirmary.

Yesterday, while I was waiting for my lamb curry with rice to become sufficiently warm to pass the thermo-probe test, the next customer at the counter asked the server if the chicken dish was Halal.

With only a split-second of hesitation and with utter conviction the server responded with just one word:

"Mostly."

I looked at the other customer. She looked at me. We both had that "WTF?" look on our faces.

For a while words failed us, we couldn't speak for laughing.

Happiness comes from the most unlikely places.

While we’re on the subject of cycling…

Posted by on September 5th 2016 in LMAO!

 

Available from all good bollock retailers.

Cycling Night Riding Bicycle Light Creative Bike Light Bicycle Cycling MTB Bike Lamp Heart Design.

May contain nuts.

Who needs Lycra and clip-ins?

Posted by on August 17th 2016 in LMAO!

This Tour de Leicester thing is clearly a demanding set of events, something like an Omnium for Eejuts.

This time we were on the Soar Valley Way.

Here's the breakaway leader in the Dangerously-Overloaded Sprint:

 

Well, you can stick that up your arse

Posted by on April 7th 2016 in Illness and injury, LMAO!

My latest acquisition.

Mine because the hospital wouldn't give me the ever-reliable Xyloproct but did give me the utterly-useless Anusol.

I'm still trying to work out how to comply with the instructions:

My nads are already dangling in the broccoli, I don't think I can back in any further.

Perhaps I'm not bending over far enough?

Price Fail

Posted by on March 20th 2013 in Astrostuff, LMAO!

I have an Inner Stickler. Poor spelling, punctuation and grammar really irk me.

Many folk tell me to lighten up, saying that accurate spelling is no longer important and that it's the meaning of the words that really matters...

 

eBay item number 181102927230

  😯

I rest my case.

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